


Anti-kink: Elevator sex

by ash_carpenter



Series: Anti-kink [17]
Category: Angel: the Series, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Elevator Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 06:46:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2259885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ash_carpenter/pseuds/ash_carpenter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Next cross-posting of anti-kink fic  (series archived <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=ash_carpenter&keyword=Anti-kink&filter=all">here</a> on LJ)! </p>
<p>Finding an elevator to screw in should be easy, and it's not like they're going to get any trouble from a bunch of lawyer types, right?</p>
<p>It turns out that Wolfram & Hart in LA might not have been the best choice...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anti-kink: Elevator sex

****  
Elevator Sex   


“Well, that was almost too easy,” grinned Dean as they waited for the elevator.

“Yeah,” agreed Sam. “Makes a nice change.”

They had the name they needed and the cemetery address: one easy salt and burn that night and no-one else would be shoved out of the fourth story window of the office block by a pissed off, suicidal spirit.

The two victims had both survived as it happened, although one had broken both legs and fractured her spine, so they were on for their third death-free hunt in a row. They were on a high.

As they stepped into the elevator, alone in the cab, Sam smirked and shoved Dean into a corner, kissing him and licking playfully at his lips until he opened his mouth. They didn’t usually mess around on hunts, but they shouldn’t need to come back to the building, so Sam didn’t really care if someone saw the two “health and safety inspectors” playing tonsil hockey.

Surprised, Dean nevertheless got with the program in about half a second flat, pulling Sam closer to his body and grinding against him. When the cab reached the ground, probably less than a quarter of a minute later, they were both blindingly, unexpectedly hard.

At the ‘ping’, Dean looked startled and shoved Sam away from him, just as the doors opened. His brother nearly stumbled back through them, surprising several bystanders who were waiting for the elevator.

“Uh...” Dean whipped his pad out of his pocket as he flashed his ID. Pretending to write, he said, “Elevator operation sub-par and bumpy. New shock absorbers required.”

Ignoring Sam’s glare, he hustled him out of the elevator, which the bystanders were now eyeing dubiously, muttering about taking the stairs. He tried to crowd behind Sam, hoping to hide his erection, but unfortunately Sam had the same idea and they ended up shuffling around each other in an awkward dance that did very little to detract attention from their tented pants.

“Dude, stop it!”

“Just...Let’s go.”

“Yeah. After you.”

“Dean!”

They finally got themselves back to the Impala and Sam grinned at Dean’s blush. “That was pretty hot.”

“What, walking past five hundred people with a boner?”

Sam’s smile faltered. “Okay, not that part. But before that.”

Dean glanced over at him. God, the killer combination of the mischievous glint in his eyes and his sunny, dimpled smile: Dean was done for. Barely resisting the urge to pull over at the side of the road for a quick tumble in the back, he nodded his agreement. “Yeah. You know, we should find an elevator to fuck in.”

“Yeah?” beamed Sam.

“Yeah. And soon.” Dean looked out of the window to see if he could spot any likely high-rises. Sadly, they were in southern Idaho, and the four-storey building they’d just left was a towering behemoth compared to most nearby offerings.

Sam, who’d also been considering their environs, pouted. “We should find a hunt in a big city next.”

“Yeah. I mean, some fugly’s gotta be ganking people in LA, right?”

“Hopefully,” nodded Sam enthusiastically. Off Dean’s raised eyebrow, he amended, “Uh...I mean, it would be _sad_ , but...”

Sam coughed weakly and Dean grinned. He was so getting laid in an elevator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time they found a motel in downtown Los Angeles several days later, they’d remembered that August wasn’t the most pleasant time of year to be in California, especially if your classic car – gorgeous though she might be – didn’t have any mod cons. Opening a window wasn’t much use when all that came in through it was a ninety degree wall of heat, as Sam explained thoroughly to Dean during a forty minute whinge.

“We should have gone to New York,” he groused as they checked in, finding without much surprise that their air conditioning unit was broken.

“Yeah, ‘cause New York’s so much cooler in August,” growled back Dean with an eye-roll, grimacing as he pulled his sweat-slick tee-shirt away from his body. “Besides, I’m not going there with you.”

“What? Why not?”

“You’ll just wanna get gay married.”

Sam clenched his jaw, pausing in the act of pawing through his duffle for some lighter clothing. “Okay, dude? You’re about the last person on earth I want as my wife. Besides, even if I did, they’ve only legalised gay marriage, not incest.”

Dean looked scandalised. “ _Wife_? You’d be the wife.”

“Yeah? That why you were spreading your legs and begging me to fuck you this morning?”

“Okay, that’s not...I was just...Oh, shut up. Douchebag.”

Grinning in smug satisfaction, Sam resumed his search for his sweatpants and wife beater. Heh...wife beater. Maybe he could convince Dean to let him spank him again? He never could resist his little brother in a muscle top...

“What are you laughing about, geek boy? It’s time to get to work.”

“Work?” whined Sam. They hadn’t even found a hunt yet.

“Yeah, work. You find a good elevator candidate, and I’ll create us a cover story.”

Sam almost bounced on the soles of his feet with excitement; he’d almost forgotten about the elevator sex! It was gonna be epic.

Seeing Sam’s face, Dean smirked. “Yeah, I know. I’m awesome.” He pointed his finger warningly at Sam, his face serious. “But don’t propose or anything. I’m still not gay marrying you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean squinted up at the building as they parked up across the darkened street. “Wolfram and Hart, huh?”

“It’s a law firm,” smiled Sam and Dean laughed.

“You wanted to work in a place like this, once upon a time.”

“Yep. Apparently the closest I’m ever gonna get is dressing up as a maintenance guy so I can fuck in the elevator during the early hours of the morning.”

“Complaining?” asked Dean, turning to face Sam. He was backlit by a streetlight, perfect face highlighted and shadowed flatteringly, plump lips pouting slightly and strong hands tapping out a rhythm on the steering wheel.

“Oh, hell no,” replied Sam, leaning in to steal a deep kiss. He slipped his hand beneath Dean’s tee-shirt and thumbed at his nipple, swallowing a little gasp. Pulling away abruptly, he motioned at the building and said, “Come on. Let’s go liven the place up.”

Dean nodded. It sure could use it; it looked stuffy and boring as all get-out with its faceless glass windows and neutral colours. Still, that was kinda the point: he and Sam had wanted to find a place that would be dull and dead in the pre-dawn hours, with no-one – human or otherwise – to disturb their fun.

They got by the security desk easily enough with their forged maintenance papers and then rounded the corner to the elevator banks, barely stifling the urge to giggle like a couple of schoolgirls as they pressed the call button.

As they stepped inside, they were a little perturbed to realise that the elevator was on the outside of the building – and that it was made of glass. As their lit cab rode up and down, their antics would be visible to anyone who chanced to look.

“We’re gonna be floodlit like goddamned Yankee Stadium!”

“So? It’s the middle of the night. No-one’s here to see,” argued Sam persuasively, rubbing his hand over Dean’s crotch to help encourage him to see his point of view.

Feeling his knees weaken slightly, Dean pushed into Sam’s questing paw and nodded, jabbing the button for the top floor. “Yeah, okay.”

So, they’d be adding a bit of exhibitionism to the proceedings. Nothing like a bit of extra kink, right?

As the car began to rise, Dean backed Sam up against the glass and pressed solidly against him, kissing him and tangling his hands in his hair. He ground his hardening dick against Sam’s, groaning into his mouth and sucking on his tongue. God, it was hot. There they were in the swanky elevator, ready to fuck, the momentum giving them a slight head rush. So awesome. It was –

_Ding!_

Sam and Dean jumped at the sound, swivelling around to watch the doors opening. On the top floor.

“Damn it, we haven’t even taken any clothes off yet!”

Stupid modern elevators travelling at a bazillion miles an hour.

“So, what do we do now?” demanded Dean, thigh still firmly wedged between his brother’s legs.

“Uh...We could go back down again?”

Shrugging, Dean leaned backwards and stabbed the ‘Lobby’ button, before resuming his sexy assault on Sam.

By the seventh time they’d travelled to the top floor, they were finally shirtless.

“This is hopeless! We’re never gonna get around to fucking if we keep having to stop to press the stupid button.”

“You’re right,” agreed Sam. “Look, let’s just stay up here for a minute, okay? At least until one of us is, you know, inside the other.”

Dean’s nod was very hesitant and he appeared to be grimacing a little. Sam frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I just feel a little...” He trailed off, briefly pressing his hand to his mouth, and Sam noticed that he was looking a little green around the gills. In what he hoped was a subtle manner, he moved Dean to the side, trying to slide out from where he was trapped against the window.

“Dude, you’re not gonna hurl, are you?”

Dean shook his head unconvincingly, peering out of the window and then flinching back as if he regretted it, stumbling into the corner. His voice was dry and raspy as he said, “We’re a little...”

“What?”

“Um. High,” he replied, barely audible. He at least had the grace to look embarrassed.

Sam stared at him. “You’re joking, right? I thought it was just airplanes?”

“Well, you know...The height, the motion sickness...” Dean shrugged awkwardly, then lurched, almost doubling over. He leaned out of the open elevator doors for some air, and for a moment Sam was convinced that he was going to throw up into a nearby potted plant.

Finally, he recovered somewhat. Although Sam wasn’t totally sure that he wanted to kiss him again.

“I’ll be fine. Can we just...stop at a lower floor?”

“Sure,” replied Sam, not laughing at his pathetic brother and trying to sound supportive rather than irritated at the disruption to their love-making.

(And thank God he hadn’t said that out loud; Dean would never let him forget it. Love-making? Jesus. Maybe he did want to get gay married...)

The tenth floor seemed to be nice, safe ground, so they stopped there.

“Happy?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure you’re not gonna swoon?”

“Fuck you. Wanna get laid or not? ‘Cause let me tell ya, you’re not going the right way about it.”

“Right, like you can resist me,” scoffed Sam, silently chanting ‘please don’t call my bluff’.

Dean glared at him for a moment before shrugging. “Fair enough. So, on with the fucking?”

With a chuckle, Sam snagged one of Dean’s belt loops and dragged him forward, crushing their mouths together again. He pushed his brother up against the glass, planting his ass on the handrail and hoisting his legs up so that they wrapped around Sam’s hips. Grinding their crotches together, he dipped his head down and latched onto Dean’s neck, scraping teeth over his pulse point and nibbling at the vulnerable skin, knowing how it drove him crazy.

“Fuck, Sammy. Gonna fuck me? Huh?”

“Yeah,” murmured Sam, sliding one hand down to cup Dean through his jeans. “You want that?”

“Mmm,” agreed Dean, pushing into his brother’s touch. He pulled Sam as close as he could, kissing him eagerly and hooking his feet together around Sam’s ass. “Want you in me, then we can go for a ride.”

Sam laughed as Dean waggled his eyebrows, nodding and popping the buttons on their jeans. “Hold on.”

Dean clasped him tight and Sam lifted him off the handrail with one arm, yanking down his jeans and underwear to his upper thighs with the other.

“Gonna have to be far enough,” he grunted, manipulating Dean until he had access to his ass, knees pushed almost to his chest and balance completely reliant on Sam.

“Jesus,” panted Dean, tilting his hips to make it easier for Sam, gripping him tight and sinking his teeth into his neck, marking him up. “Sometimes I really love how overgrown you are.”

Holding Dean steady, Sam lined up and shoved inside with a couple of hard, mind-blowing thrusts that made Dean hiss through his teeth and arch closer at the same time. They’d both prepped back at the motel, knowing they wouldn’t want to waste time in the elevator and not being sure who’d end up on the receiving end.

Well, actually, Sam had been pretty sure. Dean might be one strong son of a bitch, but even he would struggle to take Sam’s weight like that while fucking him, especially given their height differences. But it was cute how Dean couldn’t seem to admit that, so Sam let him keep his delusions.

“So fucking hot,” panted Dean, eyes completely lust-glazed. He had one arm wrapped tightly around Sam’s shoulders, the other tangled in his hair as he leaned in to kiss him. “I swear, baby brother, you’re making the earth move.”

Sam paused mid-groan. That was a cheesy line, even for Dean, unless...

“Uh. That’s not me.”

Dean’s forehead puckered. “What?”

They paused their motion for a moment, both looking out the window.

“Huh. We’re going up,” observed Dean detachedly. The lights of the city looked pretty.

“Yeah,” agreed Sam. He really wanted to ignore that fact, but there was one problem... “I didn’t press the button.”

“So?”

They turned to face the doors at the cheerful ping, watching them slide open. Two guys began to step through, stopping abruptly with shocked gasps when they clocked the two men already in residence and apparently in flagrante.

“So...That might happen,” groaned Sam, dropping his forehead against Dean’s shoulder and wondering if his shirts were hanging low enough to hide his ass. It felt a bit draughty.

“Right,” agreed Dean. He smiled awkwardly at the gawping men, giving a brief wave. “Hey there.”

Shell-shocked, they hesitantly waved back.

Dean caught his tongue between his teeth, shifting uncomfortably against the handrail. He cleared his throat. “So, uh, we’re just gonna...”

“Right,” nodded one of the guys, a nice-looking bleached blond with a British accent. “We’ll just get the next one.”

The other one toed the ground, slapping the blond’s hand away from his ass. Realising that the guys were probably...uh...joined, and couldn’t reach the button without exposing themselves, he asked, “Should I get that for you?”

“Please,” agreed Dean. Sam was too busy hiding against his shoulder, as if the whole horrible scene might go away if he couldn’t see it.

“Which floor?”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t really matter.”

“Right.” The dude, some pretty blue-eyed southerner who Dean might have treated to his best leer if he hadn’t had a cock shoved up his ass, reached for the button to the top floor.

“No! Not that one!”

“Thought you said it didn’t matter?” he huffed, poking irritably at a random floor. Turning to his companion, he rolled his eyes and said, “No pleasing some people.”

Dean would have retorted, except that the doors were sliding closed and he still had the aforementioned cock in ass issue to contend with.

“Douchebags,” he muttered, glowering.

“At least they’re not gonna call the cops or something,” pointed out Sam, finally pulling his face out of Dean’s shirt.

“How do you know?”

“Well, they were obviously looking for an elevator to fuck in as well,” he explained. Man, his brother was retarded sometimes. Still, he did have a hot ass, he reflected as he began thrusting back into it, moaning long and loud and hoping Dean would take the hint and let the conversation drop.

Predictably, he didn’t.

“Wait, what? What the hell kind of deviants do that?” he huffed, apparently offended by the mere suggestion and oblivious to the irony.

“Uh, well, _we’re_ doing it.”

“Yeah, and we’re incestuous freaks. That’s my point.”

Sam shook his head, refusing to be drawn into what might shape up to be a very stupid and pointless argument. “Can you just not talk when we’re having sex, please?

Dean rolled his eyes but thankfully shut up.

Within a few seconds, they were caught back up in their fog of lust, Dean arching his body against Sam as he pumped his hips, fingers pressing bruises into the pale flesh of Dean’s thighs.

They were so entranced with one another that it didn’t register when they reached their destination, the doors opened on an empty corridor, then closed again and the cab serenely began to rise. They might not even have noticed that they stopped again, if not for the large, pissed off man storming into the elevator with them.

“Stop that right now, you irritating pair of...Oh.”

He paused, looked confused for a moment, then deflated, then horribly embarrassed. He was wearing a swanky suit undoubtedly worth more than all the clothes Sam and Dean had ever owned added together, and would probably have looked very important if not for the fact that he was studying the floor intently as if wishing it would swallow him.

“You’re...uh...not who I was expecting,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, we’re the other guys who’re fucking in the elevator,” said Dean.

When he wasn’t in the middle of the throes of passion, he couldn’t help but notice that his position was both precarious and incredibly uncomfortable. “So, if you wouldn’t mind...?”

The dude shrugged, looking broody as he evidently contemplated where he might find the people who he actually was looking for. “Sure, although...” His expression turned vaguely apologetic. “You know, you’re not really supposed to do that.”

“Who’re you? The elevator police?” snapped Dean.

“CEO of the company, actually.”

“Oh.”

Dean didn’t really know how to respond to that one. Sam however, either afraid that he was going to expire from humiliation or concerned that their sex was in jeopardy, growled a little and leaned back. The gesture exposed Dean’s hard-on to the breeze, for which he gave an indignant squawk, but at least Sam’s freakishly long reach allowed him to shove the astonished CEO out of the cab and then jab a random button to get them moving again.

“Hey!” the guy protested as the doors closed in his face.

“We should probably get out of here,” sighed Dean.

He was shocked at the fierce glare and corresponding outburst that he received from his brother.

“No, Dean! Just no. I’m actually in with a fighting chance of having an orgasm for once, and I don’t care how many goddamned people interrupt us, even if they own the fucking building or whatever. I am NOT leaving until I’ve come!”

Dean blinked at him. “Alright, calm down. I don’t suppose you have any plans for me to come too?”

Sam made a ‘meh’ face. “I guess.”

“Gee, thanks. Well, then can we stop arguing and hurry up? My ass is numb.”

“If your ass is numb, then why do you care how long I take...?”

Sam laughed at Dean’s unimpressed face, grabbing hold of his cock by way of an apology. It had faltered somewhat at the latest interruption, but a few firm, languorous tugs got it standing to attention again. “That’s it, big brother. Wanna feel you lose it with me inside you.”

Dean hummed his agreement, nuzzling against Sam’s neck and licking at the hollow of his throat. “That’s more like it.”

Dean was somewhat irritated shortly thereafter to notice that Sam was staring over his shoulder while he thrust mindlessly inside him. “What?”

“Huh...”

“ _What_?” grumbled Dean, trying to peer behind himself and smacking his forehead on the glass. “Ow!”

“It’s those guys.”

“Where?” Dean managed to turn successfully the second time, following Sam’s gaze out of the window. The glass elevator next to their own was slowly sliding to a stop at the same floor they’d paused at and the blond and the southerner were inside it. In fact, the blond was pressed face first to the glass for some reason and the other guy was...Oh. “They’re screwing!”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Should we wave?”

“What? No!”

Dean waved at them.

The blond dug his elbow back and the other guy jumped, both of them looking rather surprised. After a moment they waved back.

“We’ve got elevator buddies!” At Sam’s bitchface, Dean pointed out, “It’s not like they didn’t already know what we’re doing.”

“I guess. Look, can you just ignore them and concentrate on making me come?”

“Am I stopping you?”

“Well, you’re not helping!”

“I’m letting you stuff your dick in my ass. How much more helpful can I be?”

Sam grunted with effort as he tried to rearrange Dean. “You’re kinda heavy.”

Before Dean could launch into a tirade about how svelte he was, and how it wasn’t his fault that Sam was a Neanderthal who insisted on throwing him around, he was distracted by a flurry of activity in the other elevator.

“Look! It’s that CEO dude! Man...They are _so_ busted.”

“He doesn’t look happy.”

Indeed he didn’t look happy. He was gesticulating wildly at the two guys, who took their sweet time about disentangling from one another and making vague attempts to cover their modesty. The blond one started gesticulating back...or maybe he was just flipping the CEO the bird. Whichever, the man was less than pleased by the turn of events and gave the blond a shove.

Looking incredibly affronted, he shoved back.

They began scuffling in earnest, but it presumably wasn’t unusual behaviour for them, considering the fact that the southerner appeared to be sparking up a cigarette as he leaned nonchalantly against the side of the elevator, jeans still unfastened.

Then the CEO reached out and knocked the butt out of his mouth, at which point he became more invested in the fight and looked like he was practically jumping up and down like a toddler having a tantrum.

Noses pressed against the glass, Sam and Dean watched the drama unfold, absently rocking against one another.

“Wow, he looks really pissed. I think he – ARGH!”

“Oh my GOD! Did he just..?”

“He’s a vampire!”

They scrambled away from one another, both reaching into their disarrayed waistbands for weapons that were actually residing on the floor.

“Shit!”

Sam stepped away from Dean to retrieve his gun and the sudden disappearance of his support left Dean pin-wheeling for a moment before he tumbled onto the floor in an undignified heap, ass still hanging out.

“Thanks, Sam.”

“Hello, vampire? Priorities, Dean.”

Dean snatched up his own weapon and leaped to his feet, both of them turning to face the action.

They were just in time to witness the blond’s fangs descending.

“AH!” they gasped in unison at the unexpected appearance of a second vampire. Without thinking, Dean took aim and fired just as Sam slapped the elevator’s bright red emergency button. Sadly, they hadn’t been aware of the bullet-proof glass and the shot began to ricochet around the confined space, almost deafening them both and narrowly avoiding various important body parts as they hit the deck.

“What the fuck did you do that for?” shouted Sam, hands over his ears.

“I don’t know! I panicked!” yelled back Dean.

“Way to be professional!”

“Like you can talk! You slapped that alarm like a frightened little girl.”

“That’s such...My leg hurts. Jesus Christ, Dean. You _shot_ me!”

Dean leaned over to look, discovering that Sam had a minor graze that would be lucky if it could muster up a drop of blood. “You’re such a baby.”

Remembering what had caused their predicament, their eyes flew to the opposite elevator, only to discover that all three of its occupants were pressed against the glass, gaping at them in astonishment and looking decidedly human. They even had the gall to be staring at Sam and Dean as if _they_ were the freaks.

“No-one’s eating anyone,” ventured Sam.

Dean frowned at the trio. “But they were...You saw the vampires too, right?”

“I thought so,” he replied dubiously.

“Not many vampire CEOs,” mused Dean.

“Yeah, but he could have been lying.”

“True, but he sure looks the part. He’s got his cell; he must be calling someone. Who do you think it is?”

Sam looked across at his brother, who was studying the goings-on with avid, open-mouthed interest, the total idiot. “Well, just a wild guess, but if he is the CEO then he’s probably calling someone to deal with the moron who just shot up his company’s elevator.”

“Or he’s calling up all his vampire pals to come eat us,” suggested Dean.

“Either way, we should probably leave.”

“Yeah.”

They stood up, dusting themselves off, and Sam prodded at the button for the lobby. After a couple of seconds of inactivity, he tried again. Soon, he was jabbing furiously and fruitlessly at all buttons, meeting with absolutely no success at all. “Fuck!”

“I think you broke it,” observed Dean. “Probably shouldn’t have pressed the big red button.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” snapped Sam, still poking agitatedly like a pecking bird. He was pretty sure that they’d been between floors when he’d pressed the alarm and the cab had come to an emergency stop, so there wasn’t even any point in prying the doors open.

Just then, a voice filled the cab, informing them that the emergency services had been contacted and a fire crew would be along shortly to liberate them.

“Perfect,” sighed Dean, and he and Sam sat on the floor to wait it out.

They noticed that dawn was just breaking and they both stared at the other elevator, watching the early sunlight casting a glow inside it.

Their new friends were still inside. They stared at Sam and Dean for a few moments before the blond gave them a little salute and they all filed out of the elevator, the CEO giving the southerner a surreptitious shove so that he hit his head against the door.

“Sunlight didn’t seem to bother them much,” observed Sam, who knew nothing of necro-tempered glass.

“No. Guess we made a mistake,” ventured Dean with his forehead creased.

A few minutes of silence ticked by, broken only by their shuffles and stifled yawns.

“You left an ass-print on the glass,” pointed out Sam.

“That’s one damned fine print.”

“Well, it’s one damned fine ass,” replied Sam. Before Dean could be surprised at the compliment, its source became clear as Sam began groping the ass in question with a sliding expression of lust. “You know, the fire-fighters probably won’t be here for a while...”

Screwing on the floor of an elevator would probably be more comfortable, anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“God, Sammy, yes! Fuck. Harder, come on...”

“Shit, Dean, yeah...Gonna come. So fucking hot...”

Dean pushed back against Sam, insensible of the rug burn on his knees. His balls were drawing up and he was so goddamned close. He was going to come like a damned freight train after being hard for about three fucking hours, and he was right there...

They jumped as the elevator suddenly lurched to life, an authoritative voice blaring out of the speakers. “Don’t worry, gentlemen; this is the fire brigade. We’re going to have you out of there in just a moment.”

“Fuck!” cursed Sam, dropping his forehead down to rest on the sweat-slick line of Dean’s spine.

They managed to get dressed in ten seconds flat, the doors opening just as they were sliding up their zippers. Slightly confused by Sam’s open, snarling hostility, the firemen nevertheless checked that everything was alright, inquired about the discharged bullet...and then promptly escorted the brothers off the premises when they couldn’t come up with an excuse that didn’t involve ridiculous ramblings about vampires.

As Sam and Dean marched through the lobby, heads held high while early bird workers gawked at them, they both did a double take.

“Dude,” hissed Dean. “Did you see that?”

“Please tell me that you saw the green guy with red horns as well,” replied Sam, wide-eyed.

Dean nodded, relieved. “Must be a fancy dress party or something.”

“Yeah,” agreed Sam. “You know, this law firm wasn’t as boring as I was hoping for when I was picking a place for us to have sneaky elevator sex.”

“Maybe we should try an accounting firm instead?”

Sam shook his head. “You know, nothing good has ever come of us being in an office.”

“Right. Hey, you know what?”

“What?”

“The Empire State Building has an elevator...”

“Actually, it has seventy-three.”

Dean shook his head, exasperated. “How do you know shit like that? I can’t even believe I’m screwing such a geek. Anyway, with that many elevators we gotta be able to find one to fuck in.”

Sam shrugged, trying to hide his smile. “Why not? We haven’t added anything interesting to our rap sheet for weeks.”

“Well, there was that incident with the cucumber. Think they were serious about banning us from all Trader Joes...?”

They were halfway back to the motel before Sam was slapped in the face by the glaringly obvious fact that Dean had just suggested a destination in New York.

“Hey, Dean? Did you know that the Empire State Building has a wedding suite...?”

They both yelped as Dean accidentally drove them into a ditch.

THE END


End file.
